Premeditated Nonsense
by Vera Amber
Summary: Ella challenges the flock to a gymnastics competition. Dr. Martinez and Total are the judges. Slight Eggy, teeny bit of Fax if you squint. Rated T because of paranoia and... Eggyness? Oneshot.


**Moi: I finally got around to typing this up!**

**Max: Yeah, she had it written in her notebook…**

**Moi: That I did!**

**Max: So why are we doing this instead of a **_**normal**_** Author's Note?**

**Moi: "Iggy Rambling :D" This was what Bell's Author's Notes were like, so that's what this one is like!**

**Max: Oh, great…**

**Disclaimer: Hi, I'm Disclaimer! And I'm here to tell you that Vera does not own Maximum Ride. James Patterson does. Vera does, however, own the idea – unless someone else has already done it. Dog food ya'lls'!**

**Max: **_**WTF!?**_

**Moi: I hired the cat to be my disclaimer. Saves a lot of effort on my part. Why do I smell AirHeads?**

**Superchic[k] blaring from the speakers: **_**I'm gonna run like I got the cops on my tail, I'm gonna live my life like I'm out on bail, I'm gonna be up front, gonna blaze that trail, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cross that line!**_

**Max: -bangs head against wall-**

**Moi: That was a serious question! –sniffs- I love Superchic[k]…**

**Max: -continues to bang head against wall-**

"So…" Ella smiled. "I've decided that were going to gave a gymnastics competition."

We all stared at her like she was crazy. Well, all of us but Nudge, who was chatting amiably about something or other. We all ignored her.

"_Gymnastics?"_ Iggy asked incredulously.

Ella nodded vigorously. "Yup! All we need to do is put down the mats, set up the beam, the bars, and… we'll be good! C'mon!"

Ella jogged out of the room. After a few minutes, I raced after her, and found her in the garage. She was dragging some blue gymnastics mats across the floor.

"Why the heck do you have gymnastics equipment in the garage!?"

Ella grinned. "I _adore_ gymnastics. I do it constantly, and I practice all the time. I'm a level seven!" she bragged. I had no idea what that meant. "Anyway, are you going to help me?"

"Uh… sure?" I grabbed another blue mat and began dragging it behind Ella.

"C'mon guys!" she called. "Help us out with setting this stuff up!"

Nudge was there in a few seconds. She was talking about how she just _loves_ gymnastics and how she thinks it's just _so cool_ that we were going to have a gymnastics competition. Everyone else followed hesitantly.

Ella directed us towards the huge living room.

**(A/N: That part of the fanfic filled up an entire page in my [regular-sized] notebook! Weird…)**

"Okay Fang, put that right there- no, not there, silly, _there_. Yes, that's it- Nudge, DUCK! Gazzy, you need to be more careful with the equipment! It costs and weighs a _ton_!" Here, Nudge, give me that mat. It goes over- IGGY! PUT THAT DOWN! Do you want me to put that video of you in the cemetery on YouTube? No? Well, then, HAND IT OVER!"

**(A/N: Ella said that, in case you didn't realize it…)**

_Finally_, we got everything set up. While Ella was stretching us out – a "requirement", she said – she explained the basics and showed us how to salute the gymnastics way properly. At the end, she added, "And don't think you suck compared to me is you do horrible – it's taken me eight years to get this good.

_Eight _years_!? _ I thought to myself.

Ella clapped gleefully and said, "Okay, we go in order of age. That means Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, Iggy, Fang, Max, and, finally, me. Oh, and Total and Mom are the judges."

Total and Dr. Martinez waved from the couch, which had been pushed against a wall.

"Let's begin!"

Ella ushered us to a corner of the room so Angel would have enough room.

Angel started off with a cartwheel, followed by a cartwheel where she brought her feet together halfway through, **(A/N: a roundoff)**, followed by a handstand bendy thing that Ella called ' a front limber, perfectly executed'.

Angel did a few more bendy things, stumbling on one of them, before she headed off to the balance beam.

First, she walked, sort of looking like she marching. She almost fell off, but somehow she stayed up. Then she did some other cool things, like a handstand. Next, she off to the "unparallel, even bars!"

"No Gazzy!" Ella corrected, "It's the uneven, parallel bars!

Then Angel did a bunch of flippy things that looked really cool. She landed on her toes, and saluted the girl way – both arms in the air, toes pointed. She jogged off towards us. Her and Nudge high-fived.

Total and Mom were talking in low voices. All I picked up was 'upper hip circle', and I had no idée what that was. They wrote a bunch of stuff down, (Well, Dr, M wrote a bunch of stuff down. Total had her write stuff down for him.), and they finally nodded towards us. Ella pushed Gazzy out, towards the mats.

He tried to do a handstand, but fell down. Then he tried to do a cartwheel, but he feel down, _again_. In fact, he feel down of off during everything single thing he tried to do. He fell off the balance beam fourteen times before giving up. He also fell off the bars – a _lot_. After falling a total of _thirty-nine_ times, he gave up completely, and saluted the boy way – one arm raised.

Total and Dr. Martinez began talking in low voice again. I didn't pick up anything this time. They spent about as much time talking about Gazzy as they had for Angel.

Nudge was up next. She did everything in hyperspeed, and was a blur the entire time. I _think_ she feel down a few times, but I'm not certain.

She saluted, then ran towards us superfastly.

Mom and Total talked for quite a while – about three times longer than they had for Angel or Gazzy. I'm pretty sure they were trying to figure out what she'd done.

When they finished, Iggy was up, We all thought he would do horrible, and crash into something, or break something, but nooo…

Let's just say Iggy is awesome at gymnastics. And let's also say he did a _perfect_ aerial cartwheel, _nailed_ a sort of back flippy thing, **(A/N: back handspring)**, off the beam, and completely _stuck_ his landing from the uneven bars.

He saluted, and without pause casually walked towards us. Ella kissed him right on the lips, and he turned a color normally only seen in Hayley Williams' hair. **(A/N: GO PARAMORE!)**

Fang was next. It took us half an hour to find his, as he was blending into the wall in an attempt to escape having to do gymnastics. His evil plot failed, miserably, when I crashed into him, knocked him over, and landed on top of him. Let's just say Hayley Williams has nothing on me.

Then we had to drag him to the mats and literally force him to do gymnastics. We bribed and blackmailed him a little, too.

Let's face it, he sucked. Not as bad as Gazzy, but still, he was pretty close.

After his horrible performance, he half saluted, then disappeared again. Within seconds, Mom and Total finished deliberating. It was finally my turn.

I half staggered/half jumped over to the mats.

I started off with a handstand, but I accidentally bent my arms and did I weird rolly thing. **(A/N: Imagine an accidental handstand forward roll, is you will.)** I guess it looked like I did it on purpose, or something, since Ella clapped.

I did some other twisty and bendy things. I feel down a few times, but I don't think I was _that_ bad.

Anyway, I went to the beam when I finished, just like everyone else had. I fell down once, but only once, and it wasn't that bad a fall, really.

It was pretty fun, actually – way more fun than I thought it would be.

I finally went to the parallel uneven bars. I gulped and grabbed the low bar. I pulled myself up and did a weird flippy thing. Well, I tried to do one – I feel flat on my back in the attempt.

I coughed miserably and dragged myself to my feet. I didn't even bother saluting.

Dr. Martinez and Total talked for only about a minute before Ella was up.

She started off with a bunch of bendy/splity things, **(A/N: walkovers)**, that looked really cool. She did an awesome armless flippy thing with her feet together, **(A/N: aerial roundoff)**, then finished with a backflip. She didn't stumble once.

On the beam, she did a million cartwheels. Not a single wobble. She ended with a totally sweet flippy spinny thing. **(A/N: I don't remember what it's called, but you know those things that gymnasts do when they do the vault? Yeah, one of those things.)**

On the uneven bar, she did more flippy things than I could count, and went back and forth between the low bar and high bar constantly.

When she finished, she saluted, then jogged over to us. She and Nudge high-fived.

After ten minutes or so of deliberation, Total and Mom called us forward. Mom cleared her throat. "In fourth place, and winner of this chocolate-covered strawberry," She held up the strawberry. "is… Max."

I walked forward, grabbed the strawberry, and shoved the entire thing into my mouth.

Total said, "In third place, and winner of these sunglasses is… Angel."

The cute six-sometimes-seven year old skipped forward and took the super-sparkly sunglasses.

Mom announced, "In second place, and winner of this movie ticket, good for any movie, is… Iggy."

Iggy – again – casually walked forward and grabbed the movie ticket out of Dr. M's hand.

Total stood up. "And, finally, in first place, and winner of the twenty dollar gift certificate to Wal-Mart Dr. M is holding is…" We all leaned forward in anticipation. "Ella!"

Ella squealed and rushed forward to claim her prize. She was hopping up and down in delight. "I can't believe I won! Okay, I can believe it, but that's beside the point!"

We should never have agreed to let Ella choose what we were doing today.

**So… how'd you like it? Oh, and in case you're wondering, I **_**do**_** do gymnastics. However, I suck (only a 3.5 –sob-), but all of the gymnastics thingies done in this fanfic are **_**actual**_** gymnastics thingies. Most of which, however, I can't do. I've taken gymnastics for nearly the last two years (five years in total) and I **_**still**_** can't do any sort of limber. And I only get a roundoff right half the time.**

**Oh, and I didn't know Paula Abdul could sing… now she's blasting from my speakers, lol.**

**R&R?**


End file.
